How to Stop Arguing

There’s conflict in every relationship but if it becomes constant, it can cause alienation within the relationship which makes it hard for couples to savour the simple joys that can be experienced within the union. Unresolved issues are like wounds that never heal. The pain never goes away and does not get better. The reality is that most couples just don’t know how to stop damaging each with their words. They don’t know how to fight the right way (yes, fighting is alright if you know how) therefore making it difficult to resolve conflicts on their own.

Substitute arguments with conversations

Both parties should focus their efforts in having conversations than an argument. Having conversations allow you to discuss the problem clearly and look for ways to solve the problem.

Begin your conversation with a mind set of listening and sympathizing with each other. As you try to clarify the conflict, repeat your partner’s point of view in your own words. Listen actively and understand what the other is saying. This cools down the moment and gives both parties a feeling of being heard and understood.

Engage in the conversation with a goal to seek solution

Approaching a problem to seek a solution is different than discussing problem with a solution. In the latter, you have already made a decision and you’re simply not to open to any other possibilities which makes the issue even more difficult to solve.

Stop the blame game

You won’t go anywhere if you keep pointing fingers at each other. Be ready to take part off the blame at least. Remember to keep calm. Showing that you’re open to learning will ease tension in the situation even when one person is angry.

Don’t make it personal

In the heat of an argument, hurtful words often go off. Minimize the negative impact of your words. Remember,  the goal is to find a solution to the issue and not to upset each other. So instead of telling your partner outright that they’re a sloth, tell him how his actions affect you, like how you get exhausted planning each day for the family and wish to get some help some times.

It all boils down to this: even your partner makes you pull your hair out sometimes, at the end of the end of the day you really love that big lug — and if you can  remember this during the trying times, your marriage will remain strong.

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