How Children Can Strain A Marriage

When couples get married, they often look at having children as a next step. However, a fact that’s typically overlooked in this transition is that significant changes will happen in the dynamics between a husband and a wife.

You’ve probably heard the cliche that ‘’Life will not be the same when you have kids.” It’s true. One of the things that drastically change is your financial situation. There will always be cost involved from pregnancy to college. Add to that day-to-day and emergency finances.There will be things you can no longer do in a whim. When you want to shop with friends or go on boys night outs, availability of a baby sitter is a major consideration on top of your busy schedules.

Then there are chores, parenting and sex. It’s just so many things to be responsible for and you and your partner may both feel like the other’s not doing as much as they are suppose to. It’s frustrating. Suddenly, that person you fell in love with –vowed to take care of for the rest of your life seem to be the most annoying person in the world.

Like all other things, balance is key. Don’t let raising kids ruin your relationship with your spouse. Children need their parents to be happy in a strong relationship to assure them of a stable family. If your marriage is getting cold because of the overwhelming responsibilities of parenthood, it is best to know how to rekindle the flame to keep the romance going.

The following tips can be helpful.

  1. Make peace with the added responsibilities. Accept the fact that now you’re a parent, you’ll have more responsibilities not just as a parent but as a spouse. You will also have to prepare yourself with the sacrifices involved in becoming a parent so you don’t feel frustrated or disappointed when you encounter difficulties.
  2. Don’t set the bar too high for romance. It doesn’t have to be a perfect date night with candlelit dinner. Just simple day to day display of affection counts like sitting on the same couch while watching TV or holding hands while driving.
  3. Find a trusted babysitter who cares for your children. Pay her well.
  4. Spend some time out without the other. It’s important because it give you your own self-expression and identity aside from being a part of couple.
  5. When going on date nights, steer from topics you usually have at home like children, finances or any difficult topic which can potentially turn into a debate. Just focus on being a couple.
  6. Enjoy home cooked meals together and talk about your spouses day. It makes the other feel important and heard.
  7. Keep yourself fed. Parents are naturally giving but they’re also susceptible to low blood sugar moments.Having a snack nearby will keep petty fights at bay.
  8. Don’t mull over tiny annoyances. Know which battle to pick. It’s not worth fighting over a toilet seat left up. Parenting is hard and no one’s perfect. Not even you.
  9. It helps to create a bedtime routine for your kids so you can finally get some time alone.
  10. At the end of a long day, enjoy some wine and sex.

While changes are inevitable when you have children, their arrival should serve as glue that strengthens a marriage.

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